Hey everybody! Another week already gone by! Crazy right???
Well... I have survived my first transfer in Korea. I've been assigned to stay in Jinhae with my new companion Elder Martin. Great man and I'm looking forward to serving with him. He's served in the Navy for four years, and is the oldest American in the mission. Going to enjoy looking up to his example for sure.
I've survived training here, and it's crazy to look back at all the things I've experienced in the last five months. I've learned more in the last five months than I ever thought I possibly could. If I could sum up training and everything that's been going on, and how I've improved, it would simply be in the word, "Change."
The second I walked into the MTC it was like a slap in the face. Could I do this? Could I truly magnify this calling? Could I be a missionary? All these questions popped into my head of "Could I" or "What if." It's taken me nearly five months, but I feel like I've learned the true concept of the word change, and truly becoming what I need to be. At times for me, I've realized that in my hardest times that I would listen to that small voice from Satan that says, "If you're not perfect, you aren't good enough." Satan tempted Christ with the word "if", but he tempts us with the words, "if only."
I looked at the word change and thought I'm changing, and I'm trying to change but I feel like it's simply not good enough. I want to change but I can't. It was during that time I realized how selfish I was being and how I was only looking at myself. It's not a matter of change in this life, but simply becoming what Christ wants us to be. It's looking at ourselves as Christ would have us. I've realized that life is like climbing a mountain. Every single one of us is a different point in our own personal climb. As we hike up the mountain, the view becomes greater as we get higher, and higher. The view gets greater with each and every step we take. The only thing that can diminish our view is if we turn around and go back down. A song I remember from home I feel explains it perfectly. "There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle, sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. It ain't about how fast I get there. It ain't about what's waiting on the other side... It's the climb."
The climb of becoming like Christ is the longest, and most difficult process. However, we have as long as it takes to do it. Christ is carrying our burdens each step, raising us to new heights with each passing day that we face. With each step, we change, and become not what we want, but what Christ wants. Some people like to think we're "human-doings" or even "human-beings." I think they're both a lie. Instead, with the help of Jesus Christ, we're human-becomings.
I've found myself becoming what I need to do as I've focused on others. Instead of focusing on what I want, or need, or how I struggle, I've turned outward. I've found myself begging forgiveness for my mistakes as often as I make them so Christ could strengthen me. I've found it simply through giving the little bit that I am to Jesus Christ. Because I've done that, He's carrying me to new and greater heights.
I know Christ lives. I can say it without a doubt that He is my Savior. That He atoned for my many mistakes, and shed so many drops of blood for me. I know He was crucified because of the incredible love that He has for us all. I know He carries our burdens if we'll let Him. I love my Savior more than words will ever be able to comprehend. I'm grateful to be His servant in Korea, and the opportunity to spread my happiness and joy with others. I love this work.
Thanks everybody for everything. I'm continually grateful for you all. I'm grateful for the constant support and love. I feel the prayers and love each and every day. Love you guys! Can't wait to talk here next week!